No Zombies for Me...It's Time for Dinner

I have been so sick these past couple of weeks that, had a zombie apocalypse occurred, you probably would have found me curled up in a corner, in a fetal position, waiting it out.

But here we are, por fin, and I'm finally coming out on the other side. Luckily, no zombies for me, because I am waiting for my sweet husband to come home and we can have dinner.

It's one of my favorite times of the day...that sweet spot just before he gets home from work.

As a teacher, I get home before he does. It gives me the quiet time I need to unwind, take a power nap, start dinner and sometimes, even go to the gym or go for a walk.

Regardless of my after school activity, every day, I feel the genuine excitement of waiting for him to get home, to see his smile, share a kiss, and begin our night, which almost always begins with dinner and a chat.

Our nights are nothing special in the sense that, during the week, we rarely go out, and often, he snoozes on the couch after dinner. But it is precious time, nonetheless, because over dinner, we talk. There is no television, no phone, no distraction. We chat about what happened that day at work, what we heard on the news or on NPR, or what we are planning to do over the upcoming weekend. We eat, we banter, we connect.

For some, dinner spent in front of the television or eating on the go is normalcy and often a necessity. But for us, dinner together at the table is an unofficial ritual that reconnects us after a day spent apart, doing our own thing.

As we approach our anniversary, I can't help but reflect on how blessed we are, to be in a marriage where we genuinely enjoy spending time together, that we share common interests and maintain enough differences to make conversation playful, sometimes intense, but always interesting.

And when either of us, or even both of us are in a quiet mood, neither seems to take offense at the quiet space between us, because there is comfort in sharing space, confident that anything other than quiet time is discussed and not shrouded in uncertainty or anxiety about what the other is thinking or why the other is so quiet.

Dinner time, like our Sunday coffee dates is precious. It's something I look forward to every day, like the excitement that builds as I wait for his car to pull into the driveway...it sets this perpetual newlywed's heart aflutter.

Un besote...

Same Beso, Only Bigger

I bit the bullet and bought my domain last night.

My blog is no longer a .blogpot.com, but a .com. I don't know that it makes any difference...only to me.

Beso, meaning "kiss" wasn't available and none of the suggestions worked for me, so I decided to go bigger.

Besote, meaning "big kiss" was available and so, go big or go home. 

Introducing Y Un Besote dot com...twitter @YUnBesote. All of the social media buttons still work. Besote is open for business.

Next stop, sponsorship!

Have a great day, mis amigos! And it's Friday! Bonus!

Un besote!

5-Minute Bad Day Fix

We all have them...those days that leave you longing for retreat under a blanket fort. At times, they can seem overwhelming, but there's a quick fix that can provide respite from the passing chaos.

Be thankful.

It's that easy and it takes less than five minutes. Stop what you're doing and think of five blessings in your life.

I won't list mine because everyone has different blessings. They may be similar, but if they're not shared, and you're reading someone else's gratitude list, you could be sucked down the comparison rabbit hole.

Don't. Go. There.

If you're life is really not going as you had planned right now, a gratitude list may be hard to come by, but start at ground zero. If you're reading this, you're already blessed with technology that many people around the world cannot access. Whether you see technology as a blessing, or a curse, or a blend of both is up to you. Nevertheless, it's there.

And don't save the gratitude for the bad days. Start or end each day with thankfulness. It doesn't take long and once you realize and give thanks for what you do have, it can provide hope and inspiration for brighter days to come.

So, go for it. You have the bad day fix. Be thankful. And pass it on.

Back at It...Couch to 5K

I'm not a runner; I'm a wannabe. I am surrounded by runners. I see their passion for their sport and I love the idea of running and experiencing a similar runners' high, but I never quite figured out form, breathing and pacing. I can walk until the cows come home, having accomplished such feats as the Breast Cancer 3-Day and Boston's 20-mile Walk for Hunger, but running? I never quite got it.

This is not to say that I don't give it the old college try. In November of 2011, I ran in my first road race, a November 5-miler. I was proud of my accomplishment and can say that I actually ran most of it, walking only momentarily to rest.

I ran through the spring, but stopped just shy of my wedding when I re-injured my knee while out on a morning run. Thoughts of hobbling down the aisle took over and I put off running off until after the wedding.

Well, here we are, nearly a year later. It's time. 

I decided to join two other couch-to-5k'ers at a local park for our first workout. Well, only one showed, but it was fabulous. We downloaded the app, chatted it up, ran for a while, walked when we needed to and ran again. We did 3.5 miles (overachievers, I guess) and I can hardly wait for next week.

Running is one of those things that I have to work at. It does not come naturally, but that's the beauty of it. When I finish a workout, there is such a sense of accomplishment (and exhaustion) that is comparable to few other challenges in my life. Everyone starts somewhere and my somewhere is here. Again.

Every time I lace up and get out there, I build strength, endurance and self confidence. We're not worried about pace; it will come.

As for me, I am off to snuggle with hubby, watch a little tv and look for a summer 5k to join.

What's on your list? What goals do you have for yourself that you have been putting off for lack of time or hesitation in your ability to succeed? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? What's stopping you?

 

 

 

 

Go do it.

Un beso...

Jillian Michaels, Shame and Getting Over It

Last week, I joined hundreds of fans and fitness enthusiasts and went to see Jillian Michaels on her Maximize Your Life tour. At times it seemed like her schpeel was a compilation of all that is trending right now, but one thing stood out and it helped me achieve my very own aha moment.

She talked about how the Biggest Loser contestants shake off images of their former selves with disdain, almost disgust about who they used to be. But the thing is, old body or new, it’s still them.  And, she added, he or she lost 100 pounds. How are you going to top that??

And then came my aha.

As someone who has lost 110 pounds, I hesitatingly look at or share pictures of my bigger body. Discomfort and awkwardness stem from shame…shame in the size of my body…shame that defined who I was.

And what’s worse, I had shame about how I lost my weight because I was worried about others' reactions and my own fear of failure. I just didn't get it.

How ridiculous.

In 2011, I had gastric bypass surgery and both my decision to pursue surgery and my use of this tool has saved my life.

Aha! I finally got it.

I have spent years thinking that if I only looked like X, all my dreams would come true.  But through this process, I got the smack upside the head I needed.

My life is amazing and my dreams have come true. And my BMI has nothing to do with it.

It has everything to do with me and the person I am, that I have always been.

It has everything to do with the choices I made and continue to make every day.

It has to do with my strength, my perseverance, and my commitment to life and all that is good.

It has to do with the dreams I hold for myself and my life, and the steps I take to bring it all to fruition. My good choices and accomplishments didn’t start with my weight loss. And they certainly won’t end with them.

Finally, pride has replaced my shame.

Pride in pushing through when it seemed easier to give up.

Pride in a body that never gave up on me, especially given the abuse I had inflicted on it over the years.

Pride in allowing myself to trust that such an amazing man could love me so completely, even when I couldn’t love myself.

Pride in allowing myself to stop self loathing and move into a space of self awareness.

Pride in how far I had come and excitement in how far I could go.

I am proud of the person I am today, and I am a work in progress. Losing my weight was part of the process, a chance for me to discover my strength and a catalyst for the great things that are still to come. But the choices are still up to me.

Instead of hiding photos and memories of my bigger self in the bottom of dusty boxes or photo albums, I wish I could hug her, tell her how proud I am of her and give her the biggest high-five I could muster, because the reality of it is, I couldn’t do it without her.

Want to Eat Clean? 3 Things

Many of us want to "eat clean" but sometimes, time gets in the way of our best intentions and we're making on-the-go choices, which almost always, aren't so clean.

This has been my experience, and while I know what I should do, what I do do isn't always the best, so this post is for me as much as anyone.

Want to clean up your eating? Try these three things.

1. Decide what "clean eating" is for you and plan ahead. If you plan, based on what you know to be what's best for you and your healthful eating, it's a win-win. Keep a snack with you in your bag. No excuses. There are healthy options that require no refrigeration. For me, it's a serving of almonds or walnuts, carrots, berries, kashi cereal and my favorite Quest protein bars.

2. Do not eat in front of the television or computer. Take the time to eat and feed your body. When you eat mindlessly, it's gone and you're left wondering, what's next? This leads to snacking, also usually done in front of the tv. Not good.

3. Write it down. Know what you're eating. Knowledge is power and when you see it in black and white, you can see it and adapt it as needed.

Start here. Trying a life overhaul all at once is daunting, but if you chunk it, it's manageable. Start where you can and make small differences...they all count. Have a great week!

Un beso.

Time Out...Fighting Nature Deficit Disorder

There's something about the woods. The sun peeks through the canopied trees. A creek babbles along over rocks, rushing under foot bridges, foaming in corners along its path. Passers-by nod in unison that all is right in their world, at least while we are all here in the woods.

We are blessed here in our pocket of New England. We have wooded and paved trails, once railways, now havens, for those who seek fitness of body, mind and spirit.

The sensory experience we cull from our outside time is important. We breathe fresh air, we take in vitamin D, and we stimulate those primal areas of our brains as we reconnect to the earth. And as my husband says, the mosquitoes and bears need no mention. ;-)

Some run, some bike, some blade, some stroll.

Some tune into each other, and walk hand in hand...our personal favorite.

Some chat, some share space...we like this too.

Some tune out the world, opting for dark glasses and a motivational beat.

Some tune in to their own hearts and heads, to be with their thoughts.

Our path is shared, but our steps our own.

Getting outside and into the woods is a valuable sensory experience that so many of us lack in our daily lives. Bound by long work hours indoors, we are often tuned into our climate controlled pods, saturated with various media, artificial colors, scents, flavors and textures.

This disconnect to nature, Richard Louv says, results in a loss of empathy, sense of stewardship, an overall apathy for the environment and the natural world.  Nature Deficit Disorder, while studied mostly among children (as explored in Last Child in the Woods) can affect any of us.

Here's a slightly humorous look at NDD from Matador.

But it's easy to reconnect. '

Even if you're not blessed with rail trails like we are, you probably have a place outside where you feel at peace. Maybe it's the beach, a favorite park, your garden, or the solace of your back yard. Seek it out. Find or create sanctuary from the artificial sensory stimulation of life and reconnect with the natural beauty of the world outside your door.

Style Summit '13...the Nutshell Report

I had a wonderful opportunity to attend a blogging conference this weekend. Blog Better Boston held a Style Summit, primarily for style bloggers, but in actuality, it was a conference appropriate for all bloggers.

It was my first blogging conference. I had business cards. I had a notebook. And I had anxiety. Until I started chatting it up.

The Boston blogging community is made up of talented, friendly, helpful ladies who know how to put an outfit together like it's their job (and for some, it is). They understand their business and they're willing to share their best practices.

In a nutshell, here's the Top 5 Lessons I learned about blogging from Style Summit '13.

1. When it comes to design, keep it simple. Think about fonts, alignment, and graphics. If your site is too busy or takes too long to load, readers won't come back.

2. It's all about the content. Write good, high quality content and develop an editorial calendar. It will help you stay focused and give your readers some consistency in what to expect.

3. Know your camera settings, and when in doubt, use the flash.

4. When it comes to analytics, know your audience. Regardless of your platform, take the time to find out who is reading your work. What are their favorite topics?  Which posts get the most traffic? Content is everything.

5. When it comes to brands and sponsorship, dream big. Think about your readers and how you can deliver products that connect to your own mission and your readers' interests. Ask and (maybe) you shall receive.

And one more for good measure...

+1...Network. Chat with other bloggers. Learn from each other and pay it forward. Create a community that welcomes newbies and supports the veterans. Celebrate each other's successes and brainstorm solutions for others' challenges. We're all artists and writers and learners. Building community is a win-win.

Before I left Style Summit '13, I was eager for the next one, another chance to learn and improve my skills, and meet new people. Thank you, Blog Better Boston, for a fantastic introduction to blogging as a craft and all that it involves.

Until next time,
Un beso.

Want a great husband? Marry a great son.

Often I have spoken of what a wonderful man my husband is. But in as much as he is an amazing husband, he is an equally amazing son.

My 82 year old mother-in-law lives with us. For many newlyweds, this could present a challenge. But mi suegra is my second mother. I've known her almost as long as I have known my husband. In fact, we met before my husband took me on our second date.

Between us lies a language barrier, and at times, a cultural barrier, and at times, a generational barrier. But we're family. We cook together, watch tv together and on weekends, sometimes eat lunch together. She makes the world's best tortilla española and she has an amazing recipe for baked fish. She makes the greatest guiso and the tastiest caldo gallego.

Mi suegra left her home in Spain during the Spanish Civil War. This rural area of Spain wheres she lived had not even electricity before the 1950s. She emigrated with her family to South America, where she reconnected with a fellow Spaniard, the man who would become her husband of nearly fifty years. She raised three strong, healthy boys before emigrating yet again, this time, to the United States, where she established her home and cared for her family in the way she knew how.

Mi suegra is a hardworking woman. While she never took on the experiences of "modern" women, like driving or working outside the home, she ran her home with her husband like a captain in the Spanish Armada, but one overflowing with the values of hard work, love, laughter and faith.  

My husband's father (who, sadly, I never had the opportunity to meet) died unexpectedly nine years ago. As the oldest of three sons, and the only unmarried son, he moved his life into their home and cared for her as she grieved for her husband and carried on in the only life she knew, but this time, without him.

My husband became her primary caregiver, her interpreter, and her advocate. His other brothers, already married with children of their own, were less able to uproot their lives and step in at the level that was needed. They all remain close, but it was my husband who stepped up as his mother's lifeline, the one who would always put her needs first.

Seeing how he cares for his mother alerted me early on, that this man was a man of integrity and a man of love. And he has been, with me as well.

They say that a lot can be determined by the way a man treats his mother. I know for a fact that it's true.

My husband is a man of love, a man of honor, a man of integrity. He has the patience of a saint (with an elderly mother and peri-menopausal wife) and a wit that will keep you laughing for days. My husband has your back. Watching my husband care for mi suegra shows me the man that he is and how blessed I am that he is mine.

3 Kick-A** Videos Worth Your Time

Good morning, friends. Today, it's all about the video. Here are three that have crossed my radar recently and they are all definitely worth a look.

1. How to Be Alone

 



This is a kick-a** video because it speaks to the beauty of "alonedom", something society fears, says poet Andrea Dorfman. It doesn't speak to a lack of connectedness, but rather peace within oneself. Be patient.

 

 

2.  Evolution of a Model

 

 

 

This kick-a** video is a keeper, especially if you have important young women in your life. Often, we take for granted the beauty of those showcased in magazines, on runways and in photos. Thank you, Dove, for demonstrating the "art" brought about through airbrushing and photo re-touching.

 

 

3. Dove Real Beauty Sketches...How would you describe yourself? Is it comparable to how others would describe you?

 

 

The folks at Dove hit another home run with their latest video about self perception. This kick-a** video has gone viral on Facebook, but it's worth a ponder...how would you describe yourself? Is it how others see you?

 

 

Happy Thursday, friends. Be gentle with yourself on your journey. Believe in your beauty and your goodness and your ability to accomplish great things.

 

Un beso.