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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Big Buts

There are big buts and I cannot lie. 

Nope, it's not a typo. 

Sir Mix-a-lot may like big butts, but these buts...maybe not so much. I know I don't. And it has nothing to do with my derriere. 
Here we are. It's Spring. Por fin! And it was the longest winter ever here in the Northeast. 

Just a few months ago, many of us made goals to welcome the new year. We were so optimistic. We made resolutions to add a good habit, to stop a bad one, or to change our life for the better. 

Let's review. How is it going? Did you stall? Did your goals get pushed on to the back burner? If so, what has gotten in your way? Is it your but?

Change is fabulous. It's a way to start fresh and plan for the future. But, one challenge that continues to superimpose its face into the windows of our dreams is our but . . . .the "Yeah, but . . ."  


And it's a big but. 

Big butts may be fine for some folks, like Sir Mix-a-lot, but when these buts stand in the way of our dreams, it's time to trim the fat and show them who's boss.



For example, when my husband and I contemplate our desire to travel around-the-world travel, the "Yeah, buts" shake their tail feather right in the face of our dream:

For example, we want to travel, but . . .

  • how will we afford this?
  • how will we find the time to do this?
  • our parents are getting older, and you know we can't leave XYZ to take care of them.
  • what about our retirement income?
  • what happens if we give up our job/house/car and we can't find/get another one easily?
  • what about our friends and family? How will we stay in touch? 
  • what about our nieces and nephews? Will they think we have abandoned them? Forgotten them?
  • what about health insurance? What if we get sick? What if we get hurt?
  • what about language barriers? 
  • what about crime? What if it's dangerous?
  • can we make money on the road?
  • what if we lose our passport? get mugged? get kidnapped? get killed?



There's countless others that pop up as quickly as one disappears. And many of them are valid. And many are just silly. They become excuses.



When contemplating big change, can you plan enough or can you over-plan? Is there a right time? Can you just throw caution to the wind and just do it?


As Winter turns to Spring, these questions (and more) become knockers on the door of my brain, like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory when he's looking for Penny...you know what I mean...

Kelly (knock, knock, knock)
Kelly (knock, knock, knock)
Kelly (knock, knock, knock)
Answer me (knock, knock, knock)
Answer me (knock, knock, knock)
Answer me.

You get the point.


Then there's the wonderful changes that change brings. When it comes to travel, the benefits are endless . . .and when you're blessed to be able to do it with the one you love, what is there to stop you? 

Only your big but. And maybe a few logistics.

But (here it is again) we're only here for a short time. Do we want our time here to be spent tied to a job/mortgage/debt/lifestyle that keeps us from who we are truly meant to be?






So yes, there are questions and challenges. And there always will be. But, if you don't take a chance on your dream of choice, what's left?




What are your big buts? How do you resolve them?

22 comments:

  1. Love this post and it comes at just the right time as my hubs and I are in the process of purchasing a home and it hasn't been all smooth sailing as I remembered it by in 2004 when we purchased our last home. The housing market has changed so dramatically and the banks have tighted their belts. Along with dealing with a Seller who is difficult, this process has been frustrating and emotionally draining to the point that at times you just want to give up in some ways. But, we keep forging ahead and trying to look towards the end goal of home ownership again. It is a scary ride right now but we don't want to have any regrets.

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    1. Hi J,
      Thank you so much for sharing your story. Having peace with your decision is the best indicator that you're doing the right thing. I wish you all the best as you move forward on your journey. It takes real courage to proceed when there are significant speed bumps along the way, but keeping your eye on the prize will get you through. Thanks again, and all the best.... :-)

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  2. I try to avoid the big buts in advance by doing seasonal goals. Breaking anything big down is easier! If one of my goals for winter is a big vacation, I make savings goals in spring and summer.

    One of my mottoes is make it happen. So if I write it down, I'm going to push to make it happen.

    Great post!

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    1. Hi Steph,
      You use a great strategy. Chunking goals into manageable units, as in your seasonal goals, is the way to go. Make it happen is a great motto...it leaves no room for the negotiation that comes with backing out. It's a great plan. Thanks for sharing. :-) Happy Spring!

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  3. I seriously love this post! I needed to hear all of these words and I really need to tackle my big buts.

    Amanda Rose
    sewmuch2say.com

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    1. Thanks so much, Amanda. I use it to remind myself as well. We can all get caught up in buts and fear, but then what. We still have life to live. I'm so glad you found it helpful. Thanks so much for your comments. :-)

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  4. Love this! I am in the northeast too. My main goal for the new year had been to change my lifestyle for the better and start loosing weight and it sure was hard with all the dang snow. But I didn't give up. But there were many day of yeah buts... which mostly consisted of yeah but its negative 10 out

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    1. Thanks, Paulina. Good luck with your weight loss journey. I have walked that path myself and have written about it some on this blog. I have a post coming Saturday about redefining yourself after weight loss. You have the strength to do anything you set your mind to doing. Chunk it out...small bites at a time. And celebrate your successes along the way. You've got this.

      Thanks so much for visiting. Please come back again soon and stay in touch with your weight loss journey. I would love to follow and support you.

      Cheers!

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  5. This post is amazing. I am guilty of too many buts too. Sometimes ya just gotta let go and dive into life!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you so much for your comment. We can all get caught up in buts and fear, but then what? Like you said, we still have life to live. I'm so glad you found it helpful. Thanks so much for your comments. :-)

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  6. Great post! So very true - I've been working hard to push aside some "big buts" recently with a new business venture so this is perfect timing for me and motivation to keep pushing! Thanks, Kelly!

    -Chelsea
    chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Chelsea,
      Thank you so much for your visit and for your comment. Starting a new business is a big deal and I'm sure it gets scary along the way. We can all get caught up in buts and fear, but then what? We still have life to live. We need to keep our eye on a prize...whatever it is. I'm so glad you found it helpful. Thanks so much for your comments and all the best with your business venture. :-)

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  7. Such a great post! I am visual so making a list and crossing things off works for me. Those goals might take some time but having them on a list helps me work towards them.

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    1. Hi Kerry,
      I am a list maker too. I love making them...it helps me feel organized. And I love crossing things off...it helps me feel accomplished. I also like vision boards to help me see what it is that I want. Sometimes it helps me bring things to fruition. I love hearing others' strategies...they inspire me. Thanks so much! :-)

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  8. I embrace the buts. If I'm thinking about goals or plans, I'll let myself think about the buts and the what ifs and then I refute them. I don't allow myself to be dissuaded in my goals because of a few buts.

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    1. Hi Jana,
      You're right to embrace them. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and being impulsive can backfire. Better to err on the side of caution. Thanks so much for your visit and for your feedback. :-)

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  9. But, I want to sleep in and hibernate its been so cold and dreary! But, I so need to resume some renewed sense of order, like dressing my grandson for school more than twenty minutes before leaving for the bus stop each day! Oh the bus stop, there was a time we walked both ways every day, I hope for some energy and warmth, no buts about it on this one!. Nice Post, Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks, Peggy. I want to sleep in too. And dress in spring clothes. And walk outside after dinner without a parka. :-) We'll get there. Baby steps. Have a great weekend! Happy Spring!

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  10. I was just writing about this b/c I'm doing a New Year Goal check-in on Wednesday. I realized that I don't achieve my goals only when they're not that important to me - so yes, I have buts for sure - BUT I need to re-evaluate the goal itself!
    I was just told that I'll be co-hosting the Let's Get Real blog hop this Thursday and I chose YOU as my featured post! I've never done this before so not sure about etiquette but figured I should let you know! It will go live on Thursday morning at 5am EST. I obviously REALLY enjoyed this post and I love the picture of you and your husband. :-)

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    1. Hello! You're so right. Maybe it's the goal that needs to be re-evaluated. There are reasons buts arise. Sometimes they are indicators that something just isn't right. Discernment is a skill we all need to make the right decisions for our own lives.

      Thank you SO much for featuring me!! I am so excited! :-) I will promote it as much as I can through my own social media. Thank you again! I can't wait!!

      And thank you for your kind words. My husband is a love. We are so blessed. :-) I wish everyone were as blessed.

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  11. This is true for me when finances are concerned. Vacations, purchases, you name it. Where fitness is concerned there are no buts only do's if I can help it. Great post!

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    1. Hi Kristina~thanks so much for your visit. We all have our non-negotiables. We have the things that we do, will spend money on, take chances with, etc. regarding one area of our life. Everyone finds the system that works for them. Thanks again for stopping by. I appreciate your comments.

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